- progress, I hope
- February 21st, 2011
Going to the Sleep Center tonight because they're doing another sleep study on me, apparently to make sure I have not sprouted sleep apnea since the last one.
Sleep schedule currently all over the map. Consequently, productivity, timeliness, and presence of mind pretty much lacking. Trying not to beat self up over this too much, as that seems to be what everybody is saying to me.
Darn it all, my reluctance to go to sleep is not insomnia; it's simple fear of losing consciousness. Those of you who know my troubles with anaesthetic will not be surprised to learn that the so-called "conscious sedation" used in the trans-esophageal echocardiogram a week ago Thursday resulted in another "Wake up! Wake up!" episode, and that what did wake up along with me was the really troublesome version of Not Wanting To Go To Sleep Again At All, Thank You Very Much. And knowing what's going on doesn't seem to give me an edge in stopping it.
Argh. And I owe everybody and her cat e-mail.
Also, my antipathy towards anaesthesia seems to have spread to extreme trepidation and anxiety about anything medical at all, just now.
This is likely to be not so much fun as it might be. Your good thoughts are appreciated.