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Honour Your Inner Magpie

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uh-oh (writing department) - The Nine Noble Virtues
elf hill
elisem
Somebody wished for the Nine Noble Virtues in LOLcat.

Why do those impulses always strike me late at night? Why, Ceeling Cat, why?


(first draft)

The Odinic Rite lists the 9 Noble Virtues as Courage, Truth, Honor,
Fidelity, Discipline, Hospitality, Industriousness, Self-Reliance, and
Perseverance.



Courage

Dogz may bark, n flash feerful fang
but honor-stiffnd Kitteh standz firm.

Truth

Knowing Kitteh knowz. Knowz self,
knowz trooth, an clingz with claws of WANT.

Honor

Catnip mousies rip, an nomnomnoms evenshully come 2 bottm of bag
But I knowz wun thing wut never runz out:
teh name-fame wut comez when honrable cat is honrable.

Fidelity

CAN HAS, sez Kitteh. But Kitteh must keep:
Keep word, keep faith, keep clawz sharp.

Discipline

Mai strong will. Let me show u it.
I honez it regyoolurly on the bonez of temptashun.

Hospitality

Sharing cat is sharing, strong in guest-frendship.
If I had 2 catnip mousies, I wud give u wun.

Industriousness

I see wut you did there. Ur latchez n doorz, I skoff at them.
I'm in ur precaushuns. An I has ALL DAY.

Self Reliance

I has a flavor. Mai flavor iz bein able 2 depend on mahself.
SPACE AND TIME ARE NO OBSTACLE TO CATTANK. CATTANK IS STRONG.

Perseverance

Oh hai, I upgraded ur everything. Or I will.
Just give me tiem. Perseverance. I has it.



The Nine Noble LOLvirtues is copyright Elise Matthesen 2008; please do not reprint or repost without written permission. Permission can be gotten pretty easily by sending e-mail to elise@lioness.net. (I almost always say yes, but I love to find out how far it's spreading, and the permissions thing is good as a device to satisfy my curiosity on that.) Thank you. (And if you do reprint or repost without asking me, please please please include this paragraph so that my name and contact info go along with it so that the next person can ask, and I can find out how far it goes. If you see it out there anywhere uncredited, please tack this paragraph on. My catly curiosity thanks you.)





OK, I feel better for having gotten that taken care of, at least for now.

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In this supremely dismal hour of an already dismal night, in which my proposal draft (due two weeks ago, but MUST GOES, Monday, SRSLY), lies in virtual itty-bitty jigsaw puzzle bits needing to be reframed and I am still looking for the corner pieces, let alone the edges...

...it's a comfort to know this is out there.

Mai strong will. Let me show u it.

Yep, that's the mantra tonight.

That is completely awesome. ♥

Possibly the best LOL-cat writings I've ever read. What a strange blend of Norse poetry forms and deliberately bad spelling...

Norse poetry forms

Oh, good! They are not things I am well-versed in (pun totally unintentional, but there you go), but I was really trying to let some of those flavors come through.

(And I did get the giggles pretty bad as I worked on "Cattle die, kinsmen die, etc." and realized that one way to get the flavour of it was with the mortality of catnip mousies and the non-endlessness of those big bags full of dry cat food.)

I can haz amuzment. U giv me it.

I do wonder what future historians will make of the lolspeak phenomenon...

That reminds me, I have to write up the commentary about why I made the "translation" choices I did, and send it to the person who's using the LOLcat rede in a course they're teaching on such rewrites/translations.

I can has repost? Plz? Plz??

kthanxbye

Can has! As long as you keep that contact-and-copyright paragraph with it, go for it with my blessing.

Hee! Elise can has Nores peotry. I like!

But also, "Mai flavor iz bein able 2 depend on mahself" sounds like a bus shelter poster. In a good way. (Some of those bus shelter posters are pretty cool these days!)

Iz too awesomes for wordses.

abbSLOJjuBW

(Anonymous)
Frkanly I think that's absolutely good stuff.

Amusing Lioness is amusing!

NFP needz LOLCat Virtuez.

Nao i iz waiting for Noble AteFold Pathz.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noble_Eightfold_Path

NFP can has funneh, y/y?

I'm in ur dharma weel
spokin' ur 8-fold path

Lovely job.

Silly question: Is it CATTANK or TANK CAT? I've seen more of the latter than the former.

*snort, chortle*

hehehe A definite improvement to a dull grey, wet winter day in Sydney — certainly *not* "the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day"

BTW, should it be:
right effort:

unwholesumness: DO NOT WANT
wholesumness: WANT


I do believe you are right. Friendly amendment accepted.

(oops Nao postz proper!)

Must postz to frendz nao!
Catz knows this!
U da boom!

Re: (oops Nao postz proper!)

Needz perms to repost to they frendz? Purr?

Dis kitteh WANT! Frens must see an nomnomnommin ur LOLBuddha goodness!

Attribution Cat iz Attributing wit Graf.

Perms can haz?

Perms can haz. Here is hol thing for ezy copyingz:

The Eight-Fold LOLpath

I'm in ur dharma weel
spokin' ur 8-fold path

right view:

WANT. Can haz? ATTACHMENT. OH NOES!!1!
Sufferin kitteh is sufferin.

right intention:

worldly thingz: I renounsez tehm.
mousies: I no nom nom nommin u no more.

right speech:

abusive speech: i abandonz it
mai right speech. let me show you it. but only at the rite tiem.

right action:

mousies? rly not nom nom nommin u. srsly.
also, ceeling cat sees whut i did ther, and iz no problem.

right livelihood:

monorail cat is on-line,
an full of benevvoluns
dis monorail cat don carry no gamblerz

right effort:

unwholesumness: DO NOT WANT
wholesumness: WANT

right mindfulness:

Bare attention: I haz it.
I see whut u did ther.

right concentration:

mousies? i not even thinkin of nom nom nommin u no more. srsly.
(O NOES!!!1! Mai bliss haz rolled undr couch!)

Ah! Betr!

Ekwanimitee. I haz it again.


...and the two extra ones, right knowledge:

I see whut we did ther.

and right liberation:

Chop wood, carry water.
Shred couch, hide cat toys.
Liberated kitteh is liberated.


The Eight-Fold LOLpath is copyright Elise Matthesen 2008; please do not reprint or repost without written permission. Permission can be gotten pretty easily by sending e-mail to elise@lioness.net. (I almost always say yes, but I love to find out how far it's spreading, and the permissions thing is good as a device to satisfy my curiosity on that.) Thank you. (And if you do reprint or repost without asking me, please please please include this paragraph so that my name and contact info go along with it so that the next person can ask, and I can find out how far it goes. If you see it out there anywhere uncredited, please tack this paragraph on. My catly curiosity thanks you.)




(Deleted comment)
*approves!* u did goot thar.

Thank you! Glad you like!

Nicely done!

May I share this with my friends (properly attributed, of course)?

You certainly may. Thanks for askin'!

I stumbled upon your LOLvirtue list and my eyes watered up.

Really. Strangely, I have NEVER read the NNV in such a way that resonated so well with me. (it doesn't hurt that I love LOLcat)

I immediately reposted on my journal, then realized that I broke my own NNV rules by doing so without permission. >,<

May I keep the x-post? I have already credited it appropriately. :-)

Totally fine with me, as long as you keep the full contact-and-copyright paragraph with it. I really have fun finding out how far it goes out into the world by where the permission requests come from.

Thanks, and glad you like it!

I has te share

(Anonymous)
Me has to thanx fur teh laffs. Muz share laffs. Puhlees. Luv the Rede, two. Me has two sharez. Wil follow rulez. ~Cerri

Re: I has te share

Go for it!

Post on Gaia Guilds

(Anonymous)
I was wondering if I could post all three (Rede, NNV, and 8 fold path) in my guilds on Gaia (a forum with games dressable avatars and more) with copy right information intact.

I was also wondering if you would do one on the 10 commandments?

Re: Post on Gaia Guilds

Sure, as long as copyright/contact info is there. Neat!

Ten commandments? Oooh, I shall put my thinking cap on there, and work on those.

Late, but I have to say this: A++ work *slowclaps*

May I share it on my Google+ so that more ppol and internet cats can be exposed to this awesomeness? :3

Sure, as long as you keep the copyright/contact info with it. Enjoy!

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