Lioness ([info]elisem) wrote,
@ 2008-05-31 22:26:00
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uh-oh (writing department) - The Nine Noble Virtues
Somebody wished for the Nine Noble Virtues in LOLcat.

Why do those impulses always strike me late at night? Why, Ceeling Cat, why?


(first draft)

The Odinic Rite lists the 9 Noble Virtues as Courage, Truth, Honor,
Fidelity, Discipline, Hospitality, Industriousness, Self-Reliance, and
Perseverance.


Courage

Dogz may bark, n flash feerful fang
but honor-stiffnd Kitteh standz firm.

Truth

Knowing Kitteh knowz. Knowz self,
knowz trooth, an clingz with claws of WANT.

Honor

Catnip mousies rip, an nomnomnoms evenshully come 2 bottm of bag
But I knowz wun thing wut never runz out:
teh name-fame wut comez when honrable cat is honrable.

Fidelity

CAN HAS, sez Kitteh. But Kitteh must keep:
Keep word, keep faith, keep clawz sharp.

Discipline

Mai strong will. Let me show u it.
I honez it regyoolurly on the bonez of temptashun.

Hospitality

Sharing cat is sharing, strong in guest-frendship.
If I had 2 catnip mousies, I wud give u wun.

Industriousness

I see wut you did there. Ur latchez n doorz, I skoff at them.
I'm in ur precaushuns. An I has ALL DAY.

Self Reliance

I has a flavor. Mai flavor iz bein able 2 depend on mahself.
SPACE AND TIME ARE NO OBSTACLE TO CATTANK. CATTANK IS STRONG.

Perseverance

Oh hai, I upgraded ur everything. Or I will.
Just give me tiem. Perseverance. I has it.



The Nine Noble LOLvirtues is copyright Elise Matthesen 2008; please do not reprint or repost without written permission. Permission can be gotten pretty easily by sending e-mail to elise@lioness.net. (I almost always say yes, but I love to find out how far it's spreading, and the permissions thing is good as a device to satisfy my curiosity on that.) Thank you. (And if you do reprint or repost without asking me, please please please include this paragraph so that my name and contact info go along with it so that the next person can ask, and I can find out how far it goes. If you see it out there anywhere uncredited, please tack this paragraph on. My catly curiosity thanks you.)





OK, I feel better for having gotten that taken care of, at least for now.

(52 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]coffeeem
2008-06-01 05:27 am UTC (link)
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

(Reply to this)


[info]bridgetj2
2008-06-01 05:31 am UTC (link)
In this supremely dismal hour of an already dismal night, in which my proposal draft (due two weeks ago, but MUST GOES, Monday, SRSLY), lies in virtual itty-bitty jigsaw puzzle bits needing to be reframed and I am still looking for the corner pieces, let alone the edges...

...it's a comfort to know this is out there.

Mai strong will. Let me show u it.

Yep, that's the mantra tonight.

(Reply to this)


[info]marycrawford
2008-06-01 09:24 am UTC (link)
That is completely awesome. ♥

(Reply to this)


[info]wcg
2008-06-01 10:38 am UTC (link)
Possibly the best LOL-cat writings I've ever read. What a strange blend of Norse poetry forms and deliberately bad spelling...

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]elisem
2008-06-01 03:12 pm UTC (link)
Norse poetry forms

Oh, good! They are not things I am well-versed in (pun totally unintentional, but there you go), but I was really trying to let some of those flavors come through.

(And I did get the giggles pretty bad as I worked on "Cattle die, kinsmen die, etc." and realized that one way to get the flavour of it was with the mortality of catnip mousies and the non-endlessness of those big bags full of dry cat food.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]skylarker
2008-06-01 01:24 pm UTC (link)
I can haz amuzment. U giv me it.

(Reply to this)


[info]cheshyre
2008-06-01 03:29 pm UTC (link)
I do wonder what future historians will make of the lolspeak phenomenon...

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]elisem
2008-06-01 03:31 pm UTC (link)
That reminds me, I have to write up the commentary about why I made the "translation" choices I did, and send it to the person who's using the LOLcat rede in a course they're teaching on such rewrites/translations.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]anatsuno, 2008-06-03 09:21 am UTC (Expand)

[info]clindau
2008-06-01 03:53 pm UTC (link)
I can has repost? Plz? Plz??

kthanxbye

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]elisem
2008-06-01 04:05 pm UTC (link)
Can has! As long as you keep that contact-and-copyright paragraph with it, go for it with my blessing.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]popelizbet
2008-06-01 04:09 pm UTC (link)
This was great!

(Reply to this)


[info]aedifica
2008-06-01 05:36 pm UTC (link)
Hee! Elise can has Nores peotry. I like!

But also, "Mai flavor iz bein able 2 depend on mahself" sounds like a bus shelter poster. In a good way. (Some of those bus shelter posters are pretty cool these days!)

(Reply to this)


[info]mistressmousey
2008-06-01 10:58 pm UTC (link)
Iz too awesomes for wordses.

(Reply to this)


[info]yeshe_choden
2008-06-01 11:16 pm UTC (link)
Distnt Lionezz

I pats U.

(Reply to this)


[info]moon_ferret
2008-06-02 06:40 pm UTC (link)
Amusing Lioness is amusing!

NFP needz LOLCat Virtuez.

Nao i iz waiting for Noble AteFold Pathz.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noble_Eightfold_Path

NFP can has funneh, y/y?

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

[info]elisem
2008-06-02 07:34 pm UTC (link)
I'm in ur dharma weel
spokin' ur 8-fold path

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]elisem
2008-06-02 07:37 pm UTC (link)
right view:

WANT. Can haz? ATTACHMENT. OH NOES!!1!
Sufferin kitteh is sufferin.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]elisem
2008-06-02 07:39 pm UTC (link)
right intention:

worldly thingz: I renounsez tehm.
mousies: I no nom nom nommin u no more.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]moon_ferret, 2008-06-02 07:46 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-02 07:41 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-02 07:43 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-02 07:45 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]aedifica, 2008-06-02 08:49 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]moon_ferret, 2008-06-02 07:46 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-02 07:55 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-02 07:47 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-02 07:49 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-02 07:51 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ladymurmur, 2008-06-02 10:14 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-02 07:53 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]moon_ferret, 2008-06-03 02:01 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-03 04:12 am UTC (Expand)

[info]princekermit
2008-06-02 08:10 pm UTC (link)
Lovely job.

Silly question: Is it CATTANK or TANK CAT? I've seen more of the latter than the former.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]elisem
2008-06-02 10:19 pm UTC (link)
CATTANK - accept no substitutes!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]princekermit, 2008-06-02 10:24 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-02 10:25 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]mcpye
2008-06-03 12:30 am UTC (link)
*snort, chortle*

hehehe A definite improvement to a dull grey, wet winter day in Sydney — certainly *not* "the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day"

BTW, should it be:
right effort:

unwholesumness: DO NOT WANT
wholesumness: WANT

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]elisem
2008-06-03 12:55 am UTC (link)
I do believe you are right. Friendly amendment accepted.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
(oops Nao postz proper!)
[info]davebooth
2008-06-03 03:02 am UTC (link)
Must postz to frendz nao!
Catz knows this!
U da boom!

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: (oops Nao postz proper!)
[info]davebooth
2008-06-03 03:09 am UTC (link)
Needz perms to repost to they frendz? Purr?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
Re: (oops Nao postz proper!) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-03 04:14 am UTC (Expand)

[info]yeshe_choden
2008-06-03 04:23 am UTC (link)
Dis kitteh WANT! Frens must see an nomnomnommin ur LOLBuddha goodness!

Attribution Cat iz Attributing wit Graf.

Perms can haz?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]elisem
2008-06-03 04:31 am UTC (link)
Perms can haz. Here is hol thing for ezy copyingz:

The Eight-Fold LOLpath

I'm in ur dharma weel
spokin' ur 8-fold path

right view:

WANT. Can haz? ATTACHMENT. OH NOES!!1!
Sufferin kitteh is sufferin.

right intention:

worldly thingz: I renounsez tehm.
mousies: I no nom nom nommin u no more.

right speech:

abusive speech: i abandonz it
mai right speech. let me show you it. but only at the rite tiem.

right action:

mousies? rly not nom nom nommin u. srsly.
also, ceeling cat sees whut i did ther, and iz no problem.

right livelihood:

monorail cat is on-line,
an full of benevvoluns
dis monorail cat don carry no gamblerz

right effort:

unwholesumness: DO NOT WANT
wholesumness: WANT

right mindfulness:

Bare attention: I haz it.
I see whut u did ther.

right concentration:

mousies? i not even thinkin of nom nom nommin u no more. srsly.
(O NOES!!!1! Mai bliss haz rolled undr couch!)

Ah! Betr!

Ekwanimitee. I haz it again.


...and the two extra ones, right knowledge:

I see whut we did ther.

and right liberation:

Chop wood, carry water.
Shred couch, hide cat toys.
Liberated kitteh is liberated.


The Eight-Fold LOLpath is copyright Elise Matthesen 2008; please do not reprint or repost without written permission. Permission can be gotten pretty easily by sending e-mail to elise@lioness.net. (I almost always say yes, but I love to find out how far it's spreading, and the permissions thing is good as a device to satisfy my curiosity on that.) Thank you. (And if you do reprint or repost without asking me, please please please include this paragraph so that my name and contact info go along with it so that the next person can ask, and I can find out how far it goes. If you see it out there anywhere uncredited, please tack this paragraph on. My catly curiosity thanks you.)



(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]qudaitsewukong, 2008-06-05 11:17 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elisem, 2008-06-15 02:56 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]anatsuno
2008-06-03 09:33 am UTC (link)
*approves!* u did goot thar.

(Reply to this)


[info]atheleas
2008-06-03 02:15 pm UTC (link)
Nicely done!

May I share this with my friends (properly attributed, of course)?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]elisem
2008-06-03 04:30 pm UTC (link)
You certainly may. Thanks for askin'!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]marduk_lok
2009-01-19 11:08 pm UTC (link)
I stumbled upon your LOLvirtue list and my eyes watered up.

Really. Strangely, I have NEVER read the NNV in such a way that resonated so well with me. (it doesn't hurt that I love LOLcat)

I immediately reposted on my journal, then realized that I broke my own NNV rules by doing so without permission. >,<

May I keep the x-post? I have already credited it appropriately. :-)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]elisem
2009-01-19 11:51 pm UTC (link)
Totally fine with me, as long as you keep the full contact-and-copyright paragraph with it. I really have fun finding out how far it goes out into the world by where the permission requests come from.

Thanks, and glad you like it!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]marduk_lok, 2009-01-20 01:06 am UTC (Expand)

(52 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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