Lioness (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} elisem) wrote,@ 2007-04-03 20:56:00 |
|
The Dishwasher As Dysfunctional Family Member
[tnh and pnh say I have to post this.]
So, you know, there's something that really bugs me about dishwashers, and that's the complicated pattern of codependency some people build around some dishwashers. I call it "The Dishwasher As Dysfunctional Family Member." It goes like this:
Everybody knows that the dishwasher doesn't actually wash dishes. We say it does, but it really doesn't. We have to take the dishes and rinse them first, and look at them to make sure that whatever's on there isn't too much for the dishwasher to handle. And let's face it, for some dishwashers at some points, ANYTHING is too much for them to handle. So we do their work for them, or at least half of it. But do we tell the truth about it? Do we say we actually washed the dishes, and that the dishwasher is actually really only rinsing them? Do we call it a dishrinser? Not to its face, we don't. And mostly not to other family members' faces, either, because one or more of them are usually dishwasher apologists.
Being a dishwasher apologist is one of those clear, unambiguous forms of codependency. A dishwasher apologist will look at you if you complain about the "pre-rinsing" (which is really pretty darn close to washing, when you come right down to it, if not actually the thing itself) that you have to do in order to maintain the fiction that the dishwasher actually washes them -- a dishwasher apologist, I say, will look at you if you say that, and they'll say in pitying tolerant tones that you're being silly, that everybody knows you have to rinse things before you put them in the dishwasher, in order to make sure that the dishwasher can actually wash them.
There is something very, very wrong with that picture. But to a dishwasher apologist, such a statement is hurtful, unfeeling, and smacks of treason. Or something like that, anyway.
Don't even get me started on the amount of checking up a person has to do with that kind of dishwasher, too. It's not enough to "pre-rinse." No, a person still has to do a scrupulous look-over when accepting the dishes the dishwasher has ostensibly washed, the dishes that are allegedly all clean and ready to put away now. Why? Because the dishwasher screws up regularly. It isn't enough to do half of its job -- or more -- before arranging them in careful configurations, giving the machine soap, and then patting its ON button and telling it to go for it, Champ. No, you have to take up each glass, each dish, each fork, and make sure there isn't some artistic impasto of soap and odd bits of food you missed while you were "pre-rinsing." There's always something, too; you pick it up, and say "Eeeuw! THAT'S not clean!" and set it aside for -- yep, for another round of "pre-rinsing."
I usually just wash the dang thing myself, but I get the feeling the dishwasher apologists tut-tut at that. Why? Hell if I know. Maybe they're afraid it will hurt the machine's feelings if I actually call it on the fact that it's not doing its nominal job. This is the point where I am given to calling it a dish-rinser, an sobriquet that in turn earns me the adjective "unreasonable."
But it's true. Machines like this particular one really don't do what we say they do. We just tiptoe around doing most of their work before the fact, and then checking up on them later and catching their mistakes and making them right. But do we get the credit for washing the dishes? No, we do not. Of course not. That would be silly. And unreasonable.
The dishwasher as dysfunctional family member. You know it, and I know it. But heaven help us if we say it out loud.
[
tnh and pnh say I have to post this.]So, you know, there's something that really bugs me about dishwashers, and that's the complicated pattern of codependency some people build around some dishwashers. I call it "The Dishwasher As Dysfunctional Family Member." It goes like this:
Everybody knows that the dishwasher doesn't actually wash dishes. We say it does, but it really doesn't. We have to take the dishes and rinse them first, and look at them to make sure that whatever's on there isn't too much for the dishwasher to handle. And let's face it, for some dishwashers at some points, ANYTHING is too much for them to handle. So we do their work for them, or at least half of it. But do we tell the truth about it? Do we say we actually washed the dishes, and that the dishwasher is actually really only rinsing them? Do we call it a dishrinser? Not to its face, we don't. And mostly not to other family members' faces, either, because one or more of them are usually dishwasher apologists.
Being a dishwasher apologist is one of those clear, unambiguous forms of codependency. A dishwasher apologist will look at you if you complain about the "pre-rinsing" (which is really pretty darn close to washing, when you come right down to it, if not actually the thing itself) that you have to do in order to maintain the fiction that the dishwasher actually washes them -- a dishwasher apologist, I say, will look at you if you say that, and they'll say in pitying tolerant tones that you're being silly, that everybody knows you have to rinse things before you put them in the dishwasher, in order to make sure that the dishwasher can actually wash them.
There is something very, very wrong with that picture. But to a dishwasher apologist, such a statement is hurtful, unfeeling, and smacks of treason. Or something like that, anyway.
Don't even get me started on the amount of checking up a person has to do with that kind of dishwasher, too. It's not enough to "pre-rinse." No, a person still has to do a scrupulous look-over when accepting the dishes the dishwasher has ostensibly washed, the dishes that are allegedly all clean and ready to put away now. Why? Because the dishwasher screws up regularly. It isn't enough to do half of its job -- or more -- before arranging them in careful configurations, giving the machine soap, and then patting its ON button and telling it to go for it, Champ. No, you have to take up each glass, each dish, each fork, and make sure there isn't some artistic impasto of soap and odd bits of food you missed while you were "pre-rinsing." There's always something, too; you pick it up, and say "Eeeuw! THAT'S not clean!" and set it aside for -- yep, for another round of "pre-rinsing."
I usually just wash the dang thing myself, but I get the feeling the dishwasher apologists tut-tut at that. Why? Hell if I know. Maybe they're afraid it will hurt the machine's feelings if I actually call it on the fact that it's not doing its nominal job. This is the point where I am given to calling it a dish-rinser, an sobriquet that in turn earns me the adjective "unreasonable."
But it's true. Machines like this particular one really don't do what we say they do. We just tiptoe around doing most of their work before the fact, and then checking up on them later and catching their mistakes and making them right. But do we get the credit for washing the dishes? No, we do not. Of course not. That would be silly. And unreasonable.
The dishwasher as dysfunctional family member. You know it, and I know it. But heaven help us if we say it out loud.
